Are Scumbag Lawyers Making a Comeback?

For a while there, people started calling them attorneys and stopped making macabre jokes about how finding scores of them dead at the bottom of the ocean wasn’t so bad.  But, now it looks like we are back to where things were in the 1990s when some shifty bastard got a lady a million bucks for spilling coffee on her crotch.

 

Any good lawyer jokes please leave in the comments.

Great Moments in Dick Move History: Rudy Ruettiger

For those unfamiliar, a “Dick Move” is something done by an individual or group that is purposefully and knowingly hurtful yet can be appreciated for its craftsmanship and deft placement.  Usually there is a sinister back story to it all, but that is secondary.  The term comes from the pejorative word for mens’ genitalia, and ‘move’, a verb.

Note: Identification of a Dick Move is not an endorsement or disapproval of the action, merely an acknowledgement that a Dick Move has taken place.

In this edition, we look at the 2nd Act of the film Rudy, a bio-pic of Daniel “Rudy” Ruettiger- a long shot to play football at Notre Dame who perseveres despite significant self vs. self and self vs. world obstacles.

At this point in the story, Rudy has made the team and during practice spots a woman who kicked him off the boosters club previously for not being an actual ND student (he was attending Holy Cross Junior College at the time).  Seizing his opportunity to project animosity from years of successive doubters onto this one particular female undergrad now that he had leveraged some form of social currency, Ruettiger runs over to her on the sideline and asks a rhetorical, “Don’t I know you?”.

Really nice deployment of a passive-aggressive time-bomb meant to explode in the face of a representative of the bureaucracy and culture that doubted him all these years.  What satisfaction he must have had, running back to clang his body into other human beings, at the behest of a barking coach, in Indiana, that Tuesday night.

Picking Up at O’Hare

When you’re picking up somebody at the airport, don’t act like you’re in a scene from a romantic comedy.  Don’t get out and give them a big hug and kiss and put your flashers on.  Don’t sit there in the second lane and ask how the food was in ___________.  If you can actually keep the wheels moving on the vechicle, pop the trunk and have your transportee take a runner into the passenger seat like you’re pulling a bank job, it’s best for everyone.

Brad Marchand Way Out Does Lance Stephenson

Marchand licks Komarov

Boston Bruins Forward Brad Marchand was put on  notice by the NHL League Office today after two separate incidents where he licked opponents.  Yeah, that’s right.  In the first round of the Stanley Cup Playoffs, Marchand licked  Toronto Maple Leafs forward Leo Komarov.  And on Friday night, he did the same thing to Tampa Bay Lightning Forward forward Ryan Callahan.  Talk about history will be made.

 

Check out the 1:03 mark, or just let the whole thing play if you want to see a couple of good hits.

 

That definitely makes Lance Stephenson blowing into LeBron’s ear look far less intimate.