I’ve been driving for nearly 20 years and I still have not mastered the Intermittent wiper settings. Always either too fast or too slow. I just can’t do it. I feel bad when I have passenger in the car and it’s lightly misting. They must be in constant fear that I can’t see or I’m too distracted trying to locate the correct setting on the dial. Or they’re just annoyed with the sound of wipers scraping the dry windshield.
Deion Sanders was sick. He was absolutely one of the most disgusting athletes of all time. And by “sick” and “disgusting” I mean “HE WAS FUCKING AWESOME!” I would suggest immediately searching “Deion Sanders Highlights” on your computer, but if you’re anything like me you’ll waste the next 3 hours of your life.
Brohan: hows michigan? aghh! 11:13AM
Jimbo: It’s good
Brohan: are you smokin hookahs? weed? Your dick?
Jimbo: Lots of weed
Jimbo: There’s nothing fishin
Jimbo: I meant nothing fishy about that
Brohan: are you high right now?
Jimbo: Yeah I am
Jimbo: Had my first wake and bake then smoked right out the shower
Brohan: who do you think you are? Jim Morrison?
Jimbo: Yeah maybe I am. You should’ve seen me Friday and Saturday. I had more than 20 one hitters both days
Brohan: so youre better than me? agh!
Jimbo: This weekend I am the rest of the year you are
Brohan: ass and titties jimbo agh!
Jimbo: T&A T&A. Agh agh agh agh whooooooooooo 12:20PM
Just the motivation you need to go out and get wild this weekend.
Former White Sox All-Star pitcher, Estaban Loaiza, was arrested for possession of 44lbs of Cocaine at his home in San Diego. Loiaza grew up in neighboring Tijuana, Mexico.
Nothing says “We have the world at our feet,” like getting decked out in the Canadian Tuxedo and hitting the town.
On this date in 1925, The New Yorker published its first issue. I don’t know that I’ve ever bought an issue, but I have read some of the stuff that has been made available to me gratis. Most of the stuff I don’t really understand and the stuff I do understand I find to be pretentious. At least I think it’s pretentious if I actually do understand it. I guess it’s not really targeted to the likes of me. I was once reading out loud in an AP History class in high school that was probably over my head and pronounced the word “Hitherto” as “High-There-Toe.” All those bastards who laughed at me are probably chuckling at a New Yorker cartoon right now.
Author’s Note: I misspelled pretentious in two different fashions while drafting this piece. Look for a Mnemonic Spelling to come!