It’s All Over

With the advent of an app that will drop booze at your door step, society is officially crumbling. At this point, I can’t really see any reason to leave the house.

GrubHub brings your food, Peapod brings your groceries, FedEx brings your toys, Drizly brings your booze and Amazon will bring you all those things via drone within two days.

Sometimes I think of George Washington going back to Mt. Vernon after a long day of arguing about the British and their tyranny, trying to convince his fellow Patriots to declare independence. Then he gets his sushi 40 minutes later and thinks, “Eh, fuck it, the British aren’t so bad.”

Top 10 Sexually Suggestive Foods

1.  Bananas- Looks like a dick and is always usually used in health class to demonstrate the proper usage of a condom.
2.  Kielbasa Sausage- Looks lick a dick, its name is sausage, kielbasa is fun to say
3.  Watermelons- Slang term for tits and kinda looks like huge ones.
4.   Pepperoni-  Slang term for pronounced nipples.
5.  Oysters- considered an aphrodisiac
6.  Grapes- Have them fed to you by beautiful women
7.  Edible Underwear- I assume most consider this a food, it falls somewhere in the candy category, and especially because I eat it daily.
8.  Chicken Breast- obvious
9. Whipped Cream- put it on nipples, make a smiley face, lick it off, do a whip it, whatever
10. Avacados- I hear it makes your penis hard