Burger King Soda Fountain “Drink Recipes” a Sham

Who is in charge of creating “Drink Recipes” for Burger King?  What a joke.  Let’s break down these brilliant ideas…

Half & Half
 
1/2 Coke 1/2 Diet Coke is the laziest suggestion on here.  If consumers can’t figure this one out for themselves they need to die a quicker death. Think needle-drugs, not 2 for 1 Original Chicken sandwiches.  Extra negative points for not giving credit to Jack Black for this “new drink” when he mentioned it in 2001’s Tenacious D album on track 19 (Drive-Thru).  F+   Click.
Black & White
 
The fact that the “white” part of this drink is illustrated in green should alone have disqualified it from making this list.  Not to mention the fact that it already has a name.  Bar/Restaurant Ginger Ale.  Terrible.
Four Way
 
This one is a blatant rip off every 6-year-old knows as A Tornado.  You’re better off telling people to “just mix everything together” instead of having them understand fractions.  (Not to mention that the name is sexually suggestive and without fail always tastes like shit)
 
 
Black Gold
 
If you’re cutting Dr. Pepper with anything, it should be Southern Comfort, however in this case Black Gold fails because Dr. Pepper is basically perfect as a soda pop and shouldn’t be fucked with. I’ll stick with a good old original.
Dr. Pepper over a lot of ice.

Thursday is for Lovers: Roberto Alomar and Maripily Rivera

Today we honor the brief dalliance between Hall of Fame Second Baseman Roberto Alomar and model Maripily Rivera.

The quick highlights from their love affair:

  • She vehemently defended Alomar in 2009 when an ex-girlfriend accused him of knowingly infecting her with HIV.
  • A year later in divorce proceedings, Maripily accused him of the same thing!*
  • It’s too bad they didn’t make it, because based on her physique I think they could have had one hell of a power hitter.

*IMPORTANT NOTE: No conclusive proof exist that Alomar has HIV

And happy belated birthday to Robbie!  He turned 50 on Monday!