Have a Gross Weekend

When I was a kid, I always thought the green Chicago River looked like the dip Judge Doom used to kill toons in ‘Who Framed Roger Rabbit?’

Jumping in will probably earn you the same fate date as the toons.

Try to avoid urinating, vomiting or defecating on your neighbor’s lawn this weekend.  Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

Rooster Icy Mint

A dear friend of mine once loved the BOLDER FLAVOR of Rooster Icy Mint and threatened to buy up the remaining stock before it was discontinued.  He did not make good on the threat as he was not financially stable at the time.  I’m offering a reward of $100 for any cryogenically frozen or otherwise reasonably preserved tins of Rooster Icy Mint still in existence.

I often think of what life would be like if I crashed on a deserted island. All I think about it how I would kick my habit of every day eating one low-fat 1% milk fat mozzarella cheese stick brought to you by Happy Farms from ALDI.   What would I do?  Turn to Alchemy probably.

Best not to think about it.

Hunting on The Oregon Trail

I’m really starting to miss when the easiest part of video games was also the most fun.  Shoot a buffalo that moves across the screen at a frame per second: 100 lbs to feed your family.  Shoot a rabbit that is 1/20th the size that moves across the screen at 20 frames per second:  You’re going to die out here.

Also, with all the wagon tongues I’ve been fixing, I should be getting more jacked, and thus able to carry at least 20 more pounds of buffalo meat.  120 lbs should get us to Walla Walla.