RIP Bozo

When I was a kid, I had the great fortune of being a participant in ‘The Bozo Show’.  My team lost but we still went home with a set of ‘Uno’ cards and a Tengen ‘Double Dragon’ handheld game.  Solid prizes.

The game I played involved passing a ball from your chin to your chest (no hands) to the next player.  The first team down and back one.

I remember that they went for a line up with alternating male and female contestants.  I also remember being relentlessly ridiculed by my brothers about how the gals on each side of were my ‘girlfriends’.

If they were my girlfriends, I’d like a chance to explain.  I was six, and only knew how to call 911 and my grandma.  Sorry girls.  I’m such a typical man.  I meant no disrespect.

Anyhow, still got ‘Double Dragon’ and I’m gonna grab some AA batteries and honor Bozo the only way I know how.  Rest in Seltzer bottles my sweet clown.

 

Is Jeff Bezos Jacked?

I was going to write something about how Bezos’ head is always completely shorn in photographs and it creeps me out, but then I saw this picture.  Dude looks like an action hero.  Or at least JK Simmons.  I guess if I had $100 Billion, I would want to get in really good shape so I could live longer and try to spend it all on comic books and candy.

Mistaken Song Lyrics: ‘Drunk on a Plane’ by Dierks Bentley

Actual lyrics:

Buyin’ drinks for everybody
But the pilot, it’s a party

What I thought:

Buyin’ drinks for everybody
Fuck the pilot, it’s a party

 

Well shit.  I interpreted it as the pilot coming out of the cockpit after reaching cruising altitude saying, “Hey, what’s going on back here?”

And everybody who is getting loaded in the cabin being like, “Hey, fuck you, dad, why don’t you get back in there and fly the plane and leave us the hell alone?”

I guess it makes more sense that he wasn’t buying the pilot drinks because he had to fly the plane to Cancun.

6 More Years!!! 6 More Years!!!

Vladimir Putin won an overwhelming victory yesterday by taking 76% of the vote in the Russian Presidential election.  The victory means that Putin will be either Head of Government (Prime Minister 2008-2012) or Head of State ( President 2000-2008, 2012-2024) of the Russian government for 24 straight years.  While Americans may frown upon this, two things are worth noting:

  1. At 76%, they have a clear consensus.
  2. At least they held the election on a Sunday, so everyone who wanted to pledge their allegiance to President Putin wouldn’t have to miss work.

Please don’t hack us, Comrades!