Pitch Meeting: ‘Premium Rush’

In my mind, this is how the pitch meeting went down for the 2012 film ‘Premium Rush’.

Executive #1: I’d really like to do something with Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

Executive #2: I love JGL

Producer: Heck yeah. But let’s do something new and exciting. What’s hot right now?

Executive #1: Human trafficking.

Executive #2: Definitely. And flash mobs.

Producer: I like where this is going.

Writer: Well, I have a screenplay about a bike messenger who went to law school but never took the bar exam because he loves the thrill of delivering packages.

Producer: Can he be simultaneously outwitting a corrupt police detective and helping a Chinese woman get her family to the States via human trafficking?

Executive #1: Yes! The Chinese woman can be his girlfriend’s roommate and she’s really disappointed he never took that bar exam.

Executive #2: I’m seeing a LOT of action in this one. This will be for bike messengers what Indiana Jones was for college professors! But what about the flash mob?

Writer: I guess he could make his final escape via a giant flash mob created by the bike messenger dispatcher you originally didn’t like that much but then redeems himself in the closing action.

Executive #1: I think we have a movie gentlemen. Finally, we have a film that will make bike messengers even more bold while weaving recklessly through the dense pedestrian and vehicle traffic of America’s major city downtown areas.

Executive #2: Judy, can we get Joe Gordon-Levitt’s agent on the line?