For a while there, people started calling them attorneys and stopped making macabre jokes about how finding scores of them dead at the bottom of the ocean wasn’t so bad. But, now it looks like we are back to where things were in the 1990s when some shifty bastard got a lady a million bucks for spilling coffee on her crotch.
Any good lawyer jokes please leave in the comments.
On this day in 1841, President WIlliam Henry Harrsion died after just one month in office. His doctor at the time believed he died of pneumonia. The prevailing rumor for most of history since was that he became sick after refusing to wear a jacket on his cold, rainy inauguration day on March 4, 1841. This has since been rejected by historians, as he is not documented to have shown symptoms until March 26. I can’t believe the remedies of the day like Castor Oil, Virginia Snakeweed and leeches weren’t able to cure him.
In 2014, after examining the notes of his personal doctor, a new theory has been widely accepted: Harrison died because the White House water supply was downstream from the public sewage system and he succumbed to septic shock. In other words, he drank the shit in the water in Washington D.C. Now that’s gross.
Frank Stallone is on the hot seat for calling David Hogg, Parkland High School shooting survivor and activist, a “rich little bitch” and a “pussy” on Saturday 3/31. Frank, an avid gun owner, does not agree with Hogg’s anti-gun positions.
Which admittedly is hilarious coming from Frank Stallone, the guy who plays a hobo singing around a fire-lit trash can in the movie “Rocky.”
But obviously, pretty harsh, especially directed towards a high schooler. Pick on someone your own size, right?
Although sucker punching a high school kid in the face does sound like fun….anyways back on track….
The only reason I really know about Frank Stallone, other than being Sly’s brother and a guy I use to prank call in college when I got his phone number from a radio station employee, is that Norm McDonald use to always blame stuff on him on SNL in the 90’s (Also Hilarious).
However, this is hardly out of the ordinary for Frank. Sly Stallone’s little brother isn’t afraid to speak his mind. Just check his Twitter account @Stallone. Frank Stallone issued an apology the next day, but no one really cares about that.
We all know Frank does think David Hogg is “a pussy,” and his apology is most likely insincere and just damage control.
But that’s kind of where we are at as a country. Frank Stallones and David Hoggs.
CNN is playing pretty fast and loose with the definition of ‘Breaking News’ these days. This is about the results of a polygraph she took in 2011. Apparently performed by Jack Byrnes in his basement. I normally wouldn’t give a hoot, but I got my push notifications setup.
Vladimir Putin won an overwhelming victory yesterday by taking 76% of the vote in the Russian Presidential election. The victory means that Putin will be either Head of Government (Prime Minister 2008-2012) or Head of State ( President 2000-2008, 2012-2024) of the Russian government for 24 straight years. While Americans may frown upon this, two things are worth noting:
- At 76%, they have a clear consensus.
- At least they held the election on a Sunday, so everyone who wanted to pledge their allegiance to President Putin wouldn’t have to miss work.
Please don’t hack us, Comrades!