Today marks 20 years since the FDA officially approved Viagra as a treatment for male impotence. The drug was historic in that it was the first to be approved in the United States for the condition.
The pills effectiveness is evident by the fact that the Rush and Division area in Chicago has been nicknamed “The Viagra Triangle,” from the propensity for horny, performance enhanced old men to chase young women in the local drinking establishments. The “little blue pill” has been enormously significant in restoring confidence (and boners) to men wearing designer jeans long after they should have started wearing casual trousers or khakis.
Often the question that scientist ask themselves is “Can we?” when they should be asking “Should we?” The uptick in 70-year-old dads at high school graduation should be significant in the coming years.
I was going to write something about how Bezos’ head is always completely shorn in photographs and it creeps me out, but then I saw this picture. Dude looks like an action hero. Or at least JK Simmons. I guess if I had $100 Billion, I would want to get in really good shape so I could live longer and try to spend it all on comic books and candy.
Vladimir Putin won an overwhelming victory yesterday by taking 76% of the vote in the Russian Presidential election. The victory means that Putin will be either Head of Government (Prime Minister 2008-2012) or Head of State ( President 2000-2008, 2012-2024) of the Russian government for 24 straight years. While Americans may frown upon this, two things are worth noting:
- At 76%, they have a clear consensus.
- At least they held the election on a Sunday, so everyone who wanted to pledge their allegiance to President Putin wouldn’t have to miss work.
Please don’t hack us, Comrades!
A dear friend of mine once loved the BOLDER FLAVOR of Rooster Icy Mint and threatened to buy up the remaining stock before it was discontinued. He did not make good on the threat as he was not financially stable at the time. I’m offering a reward of $100 for any cryogenically frozen or otherwise reasonably preserved tins of Rooster Icy Mint still in existence.
I often think of what life would be like if I crashed on a deserted island. All I think about it how I would kick my habit of every day eating one low-fat 1% milk fat mozzarella cheese stick brought to you by Happy Farms from ALDI. What would I do? Turn to Alchemy probably.
Best not to think about it.
I’m really starting to miss when the easiest part of video games was also the most fun. Shoot a buffalo that moves across the screen at a frame per second: 100 lbs to feed your family. Shoot a rabbit that is 1/20th the size that moves across the screen at 20 frames per second: You’re going to die out here.
Also, with all the wagon tongues I’ve been fixing, I should be getting more jacked, and thus able to carry at least 20 more pounds of buffalo meat. 120 lbs should get us to Walla Walla.
This really happened. Yeah Booooyyy!!!
Anybody else think Jaqen H’ghar kinda looks like Nick Kroll. If you’ve seen “Kroll Show” then you know who’s really the Many-Faced God.
On this date in 1925, The New Yorker published its first issue. I don’t know that I’ve ever bought an issue, but I have read some of the stuff that has been made available to me gratis. Most of the stuff I don’t really understand and the stuff I do understand I find to be pretentious. At least I think it’s pretentious if I actually do understand it. I guess it’s not really targeted to the likes of me. I was once reading out loud in an AP History class in high school that was probably over my head and pronounced the word “Hitherto” as “High-There-Toe.” All those bastards who laughed at me are probably chuckling at a New Yorker cartoon right now.
Author’s Note: I misspelled pretentious in two different fashions while drafting this piece. Look for a Mnemonic Spelling to come!
1. Wearing North Face jackets
2. Asking for “a free cup for water” at fast food restaurants
3. Cheering ridiculously intense for their college alma mater’s sports teams
4. Wearing straight brim hats with stickers on them
5. Having “5 O’ Clock Shadow Beards” everyday of their lives. Or as Alec would say “George Michael Beard.”
The news that legendary actor Tom Hanks would be playing Fred Rogers in a biopic about the esteemed host of ‘Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood’ reminded me of something.
Do you remember when we were kids and there was a rumor that Mr. Rogers was an insane Vietnam Vet who had killed hundreds of people in the war and was covered in tattoos? That’s why he had to wear the sweaters.
Well, it turns out it’s not true. Or at least Wikipedia says it’s not. The fucking internet strikes again and ruins a perfectly good urban legend.