Great Moments in Dick Move History: Rudy Ruettiger

For those unfamiliar, a “Dick Move” is something done by an individual or group that is purposefully and knowingly hurtful yet can be appreciated for its craftsmanship and deft placement.  Usually there is a sinister back story to it all, but that is secondary.  The term comes from the pejorative word for mens’ genitalia, and ‘move’, a verb.

Note: Identification of a Dick Move is not an endorsement or disapproval of the action, merely an acknowledgement that a Dick Move has taken place.

In this edition, we look at the 2nd Act of the film Rudy, a bio-pic of Daniel “Rudy” Ruettiger- a long shot to play football at Notre Dame who perseveres despite significant self vs. self and self vs. world obstacles.

At this point in the story, Rudy has made the team and during practice spots a woman who kicked him off the boosters club previously for not being an actual ND student (he was attending Holy Cross Junior College at the time).  Seizing his opportunity to project animosity from years of successive doubters onto this one particular female undergrad now that he had leveraged some form of social currency, Ruettiger runs over to her on the sideline and asks a rhetorical, “Don’t I know you?”.

Really nice deployment of a passive-aggressive time-bomb meant to explode in the face of a representative of the bureaucracy and culture that doubted him all these years.  What satisfaction he must have had, running back to clang his body into other human beings, at the behest of a barking coach, in Indiana, that Tuesday night.

Brad Marchand Way Out Does Lance Stephenson

Marchand licks Komarov

Boston Bruins Forward Brad Marchand was put on  notice by the NHL League Office today after two separate incidents where he licked opponents.  Yeah, that’s right.  In the first round of the Stanley Cup Playoffs, Marchand licked  Toronto Maple Leafs forward Leo Komarov.  And on Friday night, he did the same thing to Tampa Bay Lightning Forward forward Ryan Callahan.  Talk about history will be made.

 

Check out the 1:03 mark, or just let the whole thing play if you want to see a couple of good hits.

 

That definitely makes Lance Stephenson blowing into LeBron’s ear look far less intimate.

Bryant Takes a Fastball to the Dome

There’s a lot going on here:

  1. Cubs color commentator Jim Deshaies reacts with a highly appropriate, “Oh shit!”
  2. Bryant is unfortunately one of the few guys not wearing the ”Phantom of the Opera” batting helmet.
  3. Bryant’s helmet cartoonishly spins around one full rotation, stays on his head and finishes almost perfectly in the forward facing position
  4. He never leaves his feet.  If I took a 96 MPH fastball to the coconut, I’m making them carry me out of there like Maximus at the end of “Gladiator”.

Opening Day!

Baseball’s Opening Day is finally here, and we are very excited for another season of Major League Baseball.  While the bunting will be hung today, the real action will start when our predicted winner for the American League Cy Young takes the mound on April 2 against the Oakland A’s.

You guessed it….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

44-year-old Texas Rangers Starting Pitcher Bartolo Colon.

Marshall-ing a New Era

I got a little sad when I saw this Chris Sale t-shirt jersey priced to sell for $9.99 at Marshall’s the other day.  It was a harsh reminder that the electric left-hander was gone forever.

However, I briefly clung to a glimmer of hope when I remembered that Rob Dibble had worn #49 in his brief tenure on the South Side.

Further investigation revealed that it was indeed a Chris Sale jersey.  The sadness crept back in.  I’d have paid double the asking price for Dibble.

Chicagoans Repurposing Harry Potter Costumes En Masse

Residents of Chicago are climbing over each other to get on the Loyola-Chicago bandwagon, as the team prepares for its first Final Four appearance since 1963.  But, those late to the party are just an Exacto Knife away from being in the fold.  Just get rid of that Gryffindor patch from that “Ironic” Harry Potter Halloween costume, and you’re in the game!  Go Ramblers!

Thursday is for Lovers: Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren

Even in the picture she looks like she’s thinking, “I know what you’re up to, motherfucker.” And he’s thinking, “She knows what I’m up to. Motherfucker.”

Tiger seems to be back on his feet and we couldn’t be happier for him. She got $100 Million in the divorce and we couldn’t be happier for her too. All’s well that ends well I say.