He’s Also a Racecar Driver

The lawyer suing President Trump on behalf of Pornstar Stormy Daniels is also a Racecar Driver.

That’s not a joke. Michael Avenatti, is an attorney to the stars….and a Racecar Driver.

The concept is so funny to me that all I can think about right now is him pulling up next to Stormy Daniels on the street and saying, “Hop in, baby. It’s time to sue the President.” Throws on sunglasses. Tires squeal.

Deion Sanders

Deion Sanders was sick. He was absolutely one of the most disgusting athletes of all time. And by “sick” and “disgusting” I mean “HE WAS FUCKING AWESOME!” I would suggest immediately searching “Deion Sanders Highlights” on your computer, but if you’re anything like me you’ll waste the next 3 hours of your life.

 

-Brohan

Estaban Loaiza Arrested for Possession of 44lbs of Cocaine!

Estaban

Former White Sox All-Star pitcher, Estaban Loaiza, was arrested for possession of 44lbs of Cocaine at his home in San Diego. Loiaza grew up in neighboring Tijuana, Mexico.

Police obtained a search warrant for Loaiza’s home when they found a sophisticated secret compartment inside of his car when he was pulled over for a minor traffic stop.
Wait, what the fuck? Estaban Loaiza?
I always remembered him as the balding, composed, White Sox pitcher who had a 20+ win season in 2003.
And now he’s moving in on El Chapo’s territory?
Loaiza earned north of $40 Million during his playing career.
Ah, hey buddy?…did ah…you not invest well?
Jesus Christ, did you piss all the $$ away?
Or are you just a thrill seeker who likes to smuggle blow across the Mexican border and then watch The Fast and The Furious when you get home?
And 44lbs? Ah…intent to sell much?
FORTY-FOUR, FUCK ME. Even if you’re having Scarface-esc cocaine parties you’d still have 41lbs left at the end of the night (morning).
We’ll, at least this does add some edginess to you.
Actually, when I really think about it, you’re kind of cooler now.
Oh well.

Thursday is for Lovers: Chuck Finley and Tawny Kitaen

The 5 year marriage between Chuck and Tawny that lasted from 1997-2002, ended abruptly when she beat the shit out of him with a stiletto heel.  Later during the divorce, she accused him of taking steroids and bragging about beating MLB’s drug testing (Who didn’t, right?) and also accused him of abusing drugs and alcohol.  Chuck, however, took the high road and responded by saying, “I can’t believe she left out the crossdressing.”

Pitchers and Catchers Report to Camp

Pitcher and Catcher are reporting to camps throughout Major League Spring Training today, and imgross has a bold prediction for this year’s AL Cy Young Award Winner:

 

 

 

You guessed it,

 

 

 

 

 

Bartolo Colon!  Sure he’s in Texas Rangers camp on a minor league deal, but we got a feeling about this kid.  If nothing else he’s winning a Grossy this year for Largest Jowls on a Pitcher over 40.

Thursday is for Lovers: Roberto Alomar and Maripily Rivera

Today we honor the brief dalliance between Hall of Fame Second Baseman Roberto Alomar and model Maripily Rivera.

The quick highlights from their love affair:

  • She vehemently defended Alomar in 2009 when an ex-girlfriend accused him of knowingly infecting her with HIV.
  • A year later in divorce proceedings, Maripily accused him of the same thing!*
  • It’s too bad they didn’t make it, because based on her physique I think they could have had one hell of a power hitter.

*IMPORTANT NOTE: No conclusive proof exist that Alomar has HIV

And happy belated birthday to Robbie!  He turned 50 on Monday!