5 Things I Wish Mark Zuckerberg Said While Testifying Before Congress

Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg should have used a few one liners to break the ice before these Senators raked him over the coals.  A few suggestions from imgross:

  1. I’ve seen your internet search history, Senator.
  2. I just wanted to create a way to rank girls at Harvard.
  3. Do you like this tie?  My wife bought me this tie.  I don’t usually wear ties.
  4. Mr. Zuckerberg is my father.  Please, call me Mark.
  5. Is it OK if I smoke?

This Day in History: Death of President William Henry Harrison

William Henry Harrison

On this day in 1841, President WIlliam Henry Harrsion died after just one month in office.  His doctor at the time believed he died of pneumonia.  The prevailing rumor for most of history since was that he became sick after refusing to wear a jacket on his cold, rainy inauguration day on March 4, 1841.  This has since been rejected by historians, as he is not documented to have shown symptoms until March 26.  I can’t believe the remedies of the day like Castor Oil, Virginia Snakeweed and leeches weren’t able to cure him.

In 2014, after examining the notes of his personal doctor, a new theory has been widely accepted:  Harrison died because the White House water supply was downstream from the public sewage system and he succumbed to septic shock.  In other words, he drank the shit in the water in Washington D.C.  Now that’s gross.

You guessed it, …Frank Stallone.

Frank Stallone is on the hot seat for calling David Hogg, Parkland High School shooting survivor and activist, a “rich little bitch” and a “pussy” on Saturday 3/31. Frank, an avid gun owner, does not agree with Hogg’s anti-gun positions.

Which admittedly is hilarious coming from Frank Stallone, the guy who plays a hobo singing around a fire-lit trash can in the movie “Rocky.”

But obviously, pretty harsh, especially directed towards a high schooler. Pick on someone your own size, right?

Although sucker punching a high school kid in the face does sound like fun….anyways back on track….

The only reason I really know about Frank Stallone, other than being Sly’s brother and a guy I use to prank call in college when I got his phone number from a radio station employee, is that Norm McDonald use to always blame stuff on him on SNL in the 90’s (Also Hilarious).

However, this is hardly out of the ordinary for Frank. Sly Stallone’s little brother isn’t afraid to speak his mind. Just check his Twitter account @Stallone.  Frank Stallone issued an apology the next day, but no one really cares about that.

We all know Frank does think David Hogg is “a pussy,” and his apology is most likely insincere and just damage control.

But that’s kind of where we are at as a country. Frank Stallones and David Hoggs.

-Brohan