Worst Movie of all Time Nominee #71: Cousin Eddie’s Island Adventure

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation 2: Cousin Eddie’s Island Adventure sucks so bad I don’t know where to begin.

 

Fifteen years (1989/2004) after the original, Randy Quaid is back playing Cousin Eddie although you can barely tell. Its like his soul fled up to Canada to escape the “Hollywood Killers” and his sweaty, bloated body stayed back in L.A. to do this piece of shit.

The terrible plot revolves around Cousin Eddie getting fired from his job at a nuclear facility then getting bitten on the ass by his coworker (a monkey) before he leaves. Too stupid to realize he should sue, he accepts an all-expense-paid-vacation to the South Pacific for him and his family as severance. Crazy/grumpy Uncle Nick (Ed Asner) provides relief from the comedy with his courtship of attractive female tour guides and jokes about crapping. Cousin Audrey joins the clan as National Lampoon makes us endure the “Audrey just broke up with her boyfriend and will never love again” routine while Eric Idle cameos as the “English guy who gets accidentally beat up a lot” for yet another vacation. At some point, the entire family is shipwrecked on a remote island but they don’t let that ruin their Christmas! Cousin Eddie and the family survive after making drinking cups out of coconuts and clothes out of palm tree leaves!

Holy hell is this movie terrible. I think it was a Made-For-TV movie and then TV was like, “Nah, we don’t want it.” I kept thinking an ABC watermark should be in the corner of the screen. Pretty sure they made Randy Quaid do all his own stunts, too. He’s gotta be lower on the food chain than Hollywood stuntmen.

Don’tsee this movie. It’s not, “so bad its good” no matter how high you are.

Fred Willard co-stars.

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